BE SELFISH

Welcome to The Dish where Drew DeMaree & guests serve up a healthy dose of reality each week.  This blog is about keeping it real ~ real challenges, real distractions, real life getting in the way of, well…virtually everything.  How we view our realities depends on individual mindset, and we want to discuss WHY MINDSET MATTERS.

 

Has anyone ever told you that you should be SELFISH?  This word has a negative connotation; we are taught at a young age that being selfish is bad.  We are conditioned to share and put others needs before our own.  While in theory, this seems like a reasonable approach, in practice, it doesn’t always work.  If you always put others first, days become weeks, weeks become months and months become years, and before you know it, you have taken no time for yourself.

 

Each of us wear many hats.  For me, I am a husband, father, brother, son, friend and coach.  I want to give myself fully to each of these relationships, but how it that possible? In order to fully give of ourselves, we must be fulfilled.  This is best characterized by airline safety instructions, “You must first secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.”  It’s not really being selfish, instead, I like to refer to it as self-care.

 

I am currently facing one of the most challenging times of my life.  My wife, Kim, is battling cancer.  As we began this fight, my mindset was that I had to be her everything, her rock, her confidant and her safe place.  It did not take long for me to realize that in order to be strong for my wife and daughter, I have to put my mask on first. In my wife’s time of need, I need to focus on me.  Did I just say that out loud? Have I lost my mind? How can I even THINK about focusing on myself at a time like this? This was we are waging is a marathon, and every member of our tribe has to be fit and ready for battle.  To be the best versions of ourselves, we must allow ourselves to be the focus sometimes.

 

How do we change our mindset around self-care?

  • We all need time to reflect – quiet time, time to regroup, time to do things we love
  • Evaluate how we spend our time – Are you taking on too much? Are certain people time suckers? figure out how to stop the bleeding
  • Acknowledge that its okay to treat yourself
  • Recharge in whatever way necessary to make you the best you can be

 

“Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you don’t care about others.  It means you are smart enough to know that you can’t help others if you don’t help yourself first.” – Unknown

A positive mindset around self-care allows you to be the best version of yourself, be present and ultimately provide the most benefit to those in your life, and that is why MINDSET MATTERS.