Welcome to The Dish where Drew DeMaree & guests serve up a healthy dose of reality each month. This blog is about keeping it real ~ real challenges, real distractions, real life getting in the way of, well…virtually everything. How we view our realities depends on individual mindset, and we want to discuss WHY MINDSET MATTERS.
I LOVE people… just not every HUMAN, and that’s okay. We don’t have to like everyone, and we should be careful of the company we keep. We are judged by the people who surround us. It is extremely important to develop ties with people who contribute to our growth mindset. So, who are the 5 in your tribe? Let’s talk relationships starting with the most typical:
If you have a spouse or significant other, are they your soulmate? Do you believe everyone has a singular soul mate with whom they connect right away? Personally, I think it takes time to develop a relationship. There may be many people who could potentially make you happy; timing is important. Relationships need to fall into a steady rhythm in which you speak the same language. This doesn’t mean you never disagree, or you have essentially the same personality. It simply means that you understand how to communicate effectively.
Family is everything when you know how to navigate the dynamics. Being related does not give you carte blanche to speak however you choose. We must be respectful not only in our word choices, but in the tone of voice we use. I have a friend who tells her children if they would not speak with a certain tone of voice to a teacher, then they should not be using that tone within the family. It’s not that we cannot disagree, we simply must be aware of the way in which we do it. The family provides the best example of communication for children; effective communication begins at home.
There is quite a distinction between acquaintances and friends. If you can show someone “your ugly” and still feel accepted, that person is in the friend zone. These are the people we would pick as our family if given the choice. They have our backs no matter what, and they support us without judgement.
FOR A SEASON –
We all have people who have come into our lives for a brief time, yet manage to leave a lasting impression. The impact of this short-lived relationship is both real and long term. These people are most often co-workers, classmates or people who are friends of friends.
Know who you are, and never forget it! Understand your value and what makes you happy. Don’t give so much to everyone else that nothing is left for yourself. Be SELFISH sometimes so you can be the best version of yourself for others.
We have all fallen into the RELATIONSHIP COMPARISON trap! Don’t do it! I think we all have people we know who have the perfect social media family. Their photos are beautiful, they post about accomplishments, vacations and day to day life making it all seem nothing short of fantastic. Yet, just before the photos were snapped, there was screaming, eye rolling, sighing, complaining, hair pulling, and God only knows what else. It’s not savory to post the reality, so people post what they want you to believe, and more importantly what they wish to be true. No relationship is perfect; if we can admit this and accept it, life would be much easier.
What is your favorite color, ice cream flavor, song, movie, book, or hobby? These seem like pretty simple questions, right? Well, we played a game which proved the answers are much harder than we think. The biggest revelation of this activity was that we need to slow down and spend some time getting to know each other. As time goes by, we all change in different ways, and so do our relationships. Are you ready to embrace change and grow?
Relationships need to be nurtured. The way we choose to listen and speak within our relationships can create WAR or PEACE. Healthy relationships bring out the best in us and allow for a growth mindset. Unhealthy relationships have a myriad of side effects, not only on us, but on those around us. The toxicity has fallout that is far reaching. It is important to know when a relationship is worth saving and when we should move on.
Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment. No one is perfect, so don’t expect them to be. “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are” – Donald Miller, and that’s why MINDSET MATTERS.